Walaupun agak terlambat untuk aku ucapkan Selamat Berpuasa, masih sempat rasanya kerana masih berbaki 5 hari lagi untuk berpuasa sebelum menjelangnya Aidilfitri kali ini.
Sudah lama ingin aku curahkan atau kongsikan pengalaman cuti semester kali ini. Cuma terkadang aku kelelahan, kesibukan akan hal2 dunia lain dan seolah tiada rasa begitu terpanggil untuk menulis.
Tapi hari ini, rasa itu hadir mungkin kerana sudah tidak mampu untuk kubendung lagi. Perlu aku hamburkan segala macam perasaan di wadah ini sebelum titisan kristal mengalir ke bumi di bulan barakah ini.
Pertama, seawal cuti semester aku sudah pun melalui saat kritikal dan krisis dalam hidup...hala tuju dan setiakawan, cita-cita, impian dan tujuan hidup.
Which one should I focus doing?
Hockey or business?
Pada mulanya, aku merasakan aku perlu berehat seketika daripada bisnes atas alasan lelah dan mahu mencari ruang untuk diri sendiri. Maka, aku alihkan tumpuan pada hoki sempena MASUM yang pertama aku sertai. Ternyata banyak yang perlu aku gilap dan tingkatkan dari segi mutu permainan, komunikasi dan kesefahaman. Hal ini tidak mungkin begitu serius sekiranya aku turun padang hari-hari untuk berlatih. Aku telah korbankan masa latihan yang sepatutnya aku jalani suatu ketika dulu hanyalah untuk masa depan bisnesku. Dan saat itu telah aku sematkan satu janji dalam diri bahawasanya aku akan bermain untuk MASUM kali ini. Muktamad.
ohh, aku terlupa untuk menyatakan disini yang aku mengikuti satu bengkel penulisan skrip filem anjuran CERDAS. It's a great workshop learning about screenwriting. OMG, I didnt finish my script yet. It must be submitted by 3rd Sept so that I could be in the script selection. to tell you more about the workshop, I think I should write a full new entry about this because it's gonna be exciting that i couldnt stop writing...hahahaha.
After going through the learning, I know the secrets that make Hollywood, Bollywood even Korea and China movies successful, which I could tell you no Malaysian did produced such good quality products yet.
Maybe I am the first producer, who knows...as I am dreaming to have my own house production.
Tetiba, mata aku rasa berat pulak. Kepala a bit dizzy because I got issues just now. Actually, I am not in the mood to do story telling to people, I really don't feel like talking to anyone today after what had happened.
People can say that I am emo, cepat marah or whatever....but I wanna ask you, do you really know me? that you have the right to judge me? first impression not always right but it could tell something about you at that moment. If I don't know you and saw you smile to people passing by, maybe you are a friendly person or cheerful person. That's all but there's more about you that is mysterious to me.
Life is like that. Everyone is given choices. And the best thing in my life so far is learning about people because I like to observe them in different kinds of situation, how they react and etc. This skill is very helpful when it comes to people business and leadership, as well as doing a film in creating a real live characters.
My coach once told me that, there are four things that can help to determine who you are. Those FOUR things that matter you in life are ; BOOK that you READ, PEOPLE that you associated, WHO are you LISTENING and WHAT you DO. Those things are important as they give you a great influence to yourself and consequently your life.
Lately, I notice that something is not right about me and my life. Perhaps it is understandable that I feel like IT IS NOT ME AT ALL!!!! IT iS JUST NOT ME!!!! I lost myself....whose fault? who to be blame when you are in charge of you own life? when you are the captain? while you have to decide like a CEO? Now, it make sense to me that what happened to me is not others fault but me. Maybe I make a wrong decision but at least I got a decision. Mr.Nicholas Chia once said that the worst thing is when you have no decision. So, in short I've made some mistakes in life because Allah wants me to learn and remember HIM as well as ASK HIM. Not forget to be patient and strong.
to be continued....